Showing posts with label Guinea Pig Pies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guinea Pig Pies. Show all posts

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Wait and Watch


Fatty Flatfoot is shrinking. The wicked witch is getting smaller.

Growly Bear noticed it a little while ago. He asked some other slaves. They all confirmed that she is shrinking.

Princess Kitty and Growly Bear puzzle about why this might be. Growly Bear thinks that perhaps she is eating fewer guinea pig pies. He thinks perhaps she has emptied her drawer of snack size guinea pig pies and is now only eating the occasional one at mealtimes.

Princess Kitty thinks this may be true. She also thinks it could a sign that Fatty Flatfoot's wicked magic is starting to decline. She may be starting to lose some of her power. There are other signs that she might be in trouble.

Princess Kitty also knows that it is too early to be sure. She knows it would be dangerous for Growly Bear to lower his guard. Even an inch. Even a centimetre.

For now it is time to wait and watch.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Never Say Never


Princess Kitty would never buy The Sun. Never ever. Except today she did.

The reason she did is that Growly Bear suggested she did. He said he would be interested to see what she thought about the main story.

Princess Kitty had a dilemma. She wanted to see the story and talk to Growly Bear about it. But she could not bear the thought of The Sun getting 35p of her money. She considered shoplifting but decided the publicity surrounding her arrest would be too humiliating, especially if it emerged that it was a copy of The Sun she had stolen.

So Princess Kitty put the paper in her shopping basket. Then she quickly chose some other things to cover it up in case she bumped into anyone she knew. She looked around as she went through the checkout in case someone saw her.

When she got home she read the story Growly Bear was talking about. It was about some of the issues emerging from the Big Brother row. She understands why Growly Bear thought it would be of interest to her. They have been chatting about the hypocrisy of the papers in condemning people for bullying when they themselves bully and intrude on people's lives.

Then Princess Kitty found herself reading some of the other articles. She didn't manage to find any about the point of guinea pigs. But she did find one that made her laugh. It made her laugh very much indeed. It was on page 25 called "The X-ray Factor" and was about what you would see inside celebrities if you x-rayed them. One bit showed a picture of John Prescott with lots of pies in his tummy. It made Princess Kitty think about that wicked witch Fatty Flatfoot. It made her think about her love for guinea pig pies.

Maybe The Sun is not so bad after all.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Secrets


Princess Kitty and Growly Bear have been talking about secrets today. They talked about whether it is important to have secrets. Princess Kitty thinks some secrets are bad. She understands that you have to have private bits of you though. Growly Bear agrees.

The point of guinea pigs is a secret. It is a secret that Princess Kitty and Growly Bear want to find out more about though. They think it is probably a good secret.

One thing they are sure about is that the point of guinea pigs is not to make pies out of. Not like that bad witch Fatty Flatfoot. She has lots of secrets. Lots of bad secrets.

Princess Kitty had secrets when she worked for Fatty Flatfoot. She kept secret some of the bad things that Fatty Flatfoot did. She kept secret the bad things that Suma did too. She kept secret the bad things that Fatty Flatfoot did to her. Growly Bear did not know anything about it until Princess Kitty told him after he escaped. She kept her secrets because she was frightened. She also kept her secrets because she thought it was best for others.

Perhaps the important thing about secrets is that they should always be good.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Who Ate All The Pies?


Growly Bear and Princess Kitty have been laughing. They have been laughing so much that they cried. Princess Kitty has been playing tricks on Growly Bear. Growly Bear has been playing tricks on Princess Kitty. They have talked about funny things. They have talked about less funny things but they still made them laugh. They talked about Fatty Flatfoot. Usually talking about Fatty Flatfoot does not make them laugh, but today it did.

Fatty Flatfoot does something terrible. SHE EATS GUINEA PIGS! She cooks them in pies and snacks on them in secret throughout the day. She is very proud of her pies, which she makes to a special recipe with her own pastry. They are all different sizes - big ones for meal times, bite size for snacks.

This does not make Growly Bear and Princess Kitty laugh. They know this is a terrible thing to do. What makes them laugh is remembering the time that someone stole one of the pies. Or rather a part of one. They giggle when they remember her shriek of rage and how she came down the stairs holding a pie with a bite out of it. They hold their sides as they laugh about how she questioned everyone to find out who had done it. They wish it had been one of them. But it wasn't. No-one ever found out just who had done it. They must have been protected by very strong magic.